YA

YA Debut Authors Bash – an interview with Kathryn Holmes

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Today’s 2015 Debut Author’s Bash post is focused on an incredible debut by Kathryn Holmes, The Distance Between Lost and Found. Before we get to the interview, let me say this: I. Love. This. Book.

And the crazy thing is, I didn’t think I would. I was intrigued by the blurb and by a character named Hallelujah, but I am so uncomfortable in outdoorsy situations that I thought this would be torture for me. It so wasn’t, though. I loved the writing and the storytelling and the character building. I was even surprised at my investment in the characters without a first person POV, which I tend to favor.

The best part for me, though, is that this book so openly and honestly depicts teenagers in real, hands-on faith struggles without being anti-religion. Holmes has my sincere respect for that – it was so refreshing.  This story is hopeful and strong and sweet and inspirational, and I hope it’s wildly successful.

As usual, make sure you read to the bottom of the interview for a chance to win some good stuff!

 

An interview with Kathryn Holmes, author of The Distance Between Lost and Found:

  • For those who haven’t read The Distance Between Lost and Found yet, can you give a brief synopsis?

Hallelujah “Hallie” Calhoun has been a bullied outcast since the incident with the preacher’s son, Luke Willis, six months ago. Now, on a youth group hiking trip with all of the people who have been making her life miserable, Hallie manages to get lost in the Smoky Mountains. With her: former friend Jonah, who abandoned her when everything went down with Luke, and new girl Rachel, who doesn’t know anything about the incident. Hallie has felt lost and powerless for months, but wandering in the wilderness without enough food or supplies changes everything. As the days pass with no sign of the trail or of rescue, she’ll have to learn to trust Jonah and Rachel if the three of them want to have any hope of making it home in one piece.

 

  • Please share one quote from the book that would give potential readers a good feel for it:

THIS IS SO HARD! Here’s what I settled on:

The rain starts: sharp, hard drops that sting Hallelujah’s arms. It feels like an attack. Like they let their guard down, and now nature is back with a vengeance.

But Hallelujah breathes in deep. Limps along. Tries to think of her skin as armor. The rain can’t pierce her. It can’t break her. She’s not the same person she was two days ago. That girl ran from rain, fell down mountainsides, scrambled in the mud, blind and gasping and scared.

This girl, this new Hallelujah, is still scared, but she watches her footing, and she holds on to Jonah and Rachel instead of pushing them away. She watches the rocks grow closer. For once, she knows where she’s going.

(p190-191)

 

  • What’s your favorite thing about your debut? Why? It could be a part of the book, or a part of the publishing process, or anything.

My favorite thing about the debut experience has been hearing from readers. It’s amazing that this story that spent so long as a document on my computer is now out in the world. Every time I hear that Hallie’s journey has resonated with someone, I am so grateful. Now that my second book is available in ARC form, I’m excited to begin the process of connecting with readers all over again!

 

  • The main character’s name is Hallelujah, which drew me in but also made me afraid that I was in for something cheesy (but it wasn’t cheesy). How did you decide on Hallelujah for a name?

Hallie is named after a real person! When two of my friends gave their baby Hallelujah as a middle name, I couldn’t get it out of my head. What if that were someone’s first name, the name everyone called her? How would a girl live up to—or fail to live up to—a name like that? The entire story came from that one germ of inspiration: a teenage girl saddled (burdened? blessed?) with the name Hallelujah.

 

  • Personally, I typically connect better to books with a first person POV. The Distance Between Lost and Found is probably one of the 3rd person narratives I’ve connected with the best. Why did you choose to write in 3rd person? What do you think we gain as an audience from that choice?

The short answer is that from the very first draft, I heard Hallie’s voice in my head in third person. But I also realized, as I wrote, that I wanted Hallie to keep the reader at a little bit of a distance, especially at the start of the book. She’s put up this wall around herself in response to being bullied and humiliated. She doesn’t want to reveal her heart or her guts to anyone. Thus, first person POV almost felt too close. The challenge, of course, was to show Hallie opening up over the course of the book and to let the reader in bit by bit as the pages turned. I’m so glad to hear that it worked for you!

 

  • What I love most about The Distance Between Lost and Found is the power and healing that come from the troubled “lost” times, and how the characters are really only able to move beyond those times when they open up, discuss, evaluate, and communicate. I can see there being a huge potential in this book to reach readers that have gone through difficult circumstances, but the dialogue and internal struggles couldn’t have been easy to write. Can you give us some insight into your writing process for this? Was there specific inspiration for these difficult situations?

You’re definitely correct that Hallie’s internal journey was a lot harder to write than her external journey! For that reason, the first couple drafts really focused on getting the “lost in the woods” plot right. Once I felt confident in the unfolding of physical events as things went from bad to worse for Hallie, Jonah, and Rachel, I was able to weave in their difficult conversations and chart Hallie’s internal growth. The emotional arc mirrors the physical arc in so many ways, and I needed every intense conversation or painful argument or character revelation to feel like it couldn’t have happened at any other moment along the physical journey.

One of the themes of the book is the importance of finding your voice. Hallie didn’t speak up for herself when it mattered, and she regrets that intensely. The story starts with her having closed herself off and mostly silenced herself as a form of protection. I had to let the ordeal in the mountains crack her open and peel back her layers, revealing the anger and sadness and ultimately the strength and hope that were hidden underneath.

Luckily, none of the events in this book were inspired by actual events in my life. I’ve never been lost in the mountains, and I made it through high school without facing the intense bullying that Hallie experiences. But I was a shy, introverted teen who would let things fester inside me rather than opening up to anyone about how I was feeling. Certain passages in this book (as well as in my next book, HOW IT FEELS TO FLY) were written both by and for that version of myself that tends to hold in pain and anxiety rather than letting it out.

 

  • Finally, how does it feel to be a published author, and what has surprised you most since The Distance Between Lost and Found’s publication?

It feels amazing to be a published author! :) Having a book on the shelves is something I’ve always dreamed of and yet for a long time couldn’t quite see happening—and I am so proud to have made it happen. Even more than that, having written something that resonates with people I’ve never met is just such a cool feeling.

What has surprised me most since DISTANCE came out in February wasn’t really a surprise at all. I have been so amazed by the generosity and kindness of the kidlit community over the past year. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by fellow YA and MG authors, debut and veteran alike, who are so welcoming and so passionate about this work we all do. And beyond that, I’m thankful for the bloggers and readers who care so much about all of our books. It’s a great community to be part of, and I hope to get to be part of it for many years and many books to come. :)

NOW – enter for a chance to win a copy of THE DISTANCE BETWEEN LOST AND FOUND: a Rafflecopter giveaway
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…AND enter for a chance to win a copy of Kathryn’s next book (due out in June 2016), HOW IT FEELS TO FLY: a Rafflecopter giveaway

Hurry! BOTH contests end on December 20th, so get all your entries in now!

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Tour Guest Post: Truest by Jackie Lea Summers

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Before I introduce Jackie and her wonderful YA debut, Truest, let me just say that I really, really loved this book when I read it back in June. You can also see her Debut Author’s Bash post here for more info. Truest is just a really special book, in large part due to the care she took with her characters. In the same way that Augustus Waters is an unforgettable character, so is Silas Hart, and so I asked Jackie to tell us a little bit more about him: where the idea from him came from, how he drove the story, and to share some fun extras from his POV (they’re password protected and only meant to be read AFTER you read Truest).

Following Jackie’s guest post, you’ll see all the details (and an excerpt! and a GIVEAWAY!) about Truest so you can run out and get it for yourself. :)

Jackie Lea Sommers on Silas Hart:

Silas Hart. He’s nerdy, gorgeous, funny, thoughtful, and aggravating– and he’s the cornerstone of Truest for me.

Let me back up.

As 2011 wound to its close, I had just started writing a new novel, one meant for an adult audience– though most of the books I was enjoying most were YA. When January 2012 arrived, so did The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. I loved it. I bawled. Augustus Waters, the hero of the book, was such a perfect character that I scrapped my novel for adults (that had centered around an idea) and began a new novel– for teens, one that centered around characters. John Green and Augustus Waters had taught me that lesson, and it’s one I will never ever throw away.

So I started with Silas. I set out to create my seventeen-year-old self’s dream boy, and Silas absolutely met the mark for me.

Everything else– solipsism syndrome, the bell tower, the street dance, even the other characters– would come in time, but everything started with Silas. He was my book’s genesis and the foundation on which I built the novel. Someone asked me in an interview question, “How would the book be different without Silas?” and I answered, “It wouldn’t exist.”

I only hope that he’ll throw your heart wide open and make himself at home there, the way he has in mine.

Fun bonus: even though Silas was always my most important character, I somehow knew that the novel wouldn’t be from his perspective but from West’s. That said, I got curious enough to explore Silas’s point-of-view and so I re-wrote two critical scenes from Truest from Silas’s perspective so that readers could understand the other side of the story at those moments. If you’re interested, you can read them at www.truestnovel.tumblr.com. The password is the last word of Truest. It should go without saying that these are spoiler scenes and should only be read after reading the novel. I hope they are a fun treat for readers!

 

 

TruestTruest by Jackie Lea Sommers

Genre:YA realistic contemporary

Published on September 1st, 2015

Published by Katherine Tegen Books

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Silas Hart has seriously shaken up Westlin Beck’s small-town life. Brand new to town, Silas is different than the guys in Green Lake. He’s curious, poetic, philosophical, maddening– and really, really cute. But Silas has a sister– and she has a secret. And West has a boyfriend. And life in Green Lake is about to change forever.

 

About the Author:

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Jackie Lea Sommers lives and loves and writes in Minnesota, where the people are nice and the Os are long. She is the 2013 winner of the Katherine Paterson Prize. She dislikes OCD, horcruxes, and Minnesota winters. She likes book boyfriends, cranky teenagers, and Minnesota springs. Truest is her first novel.

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Read below for an excerpt from Truest:

It didn’t take long to confirm that Silas was absolutely crazy.

One morning he showed up at my house wearing an honest-to-goodness windbreaker suit straight out of the nineties: purple, mint green, and what is best described as neon salmon. I curbed a grin while Silas gathered our detailing supplies from my garage. “What?” he deadpanned. “What are you staring at?”

“Your windbreaker is just so …”

“Fetching?” he interjected. “Voguish? Swanky?”

“Hot,” I said, playing along. “The nineties neon just exudes sex appeal.”

“Well, I thought so myself.”

And after the sun was high in the sky and the pavement was heating up, he took off the windsuit, revealing shorts and a New Moon T-shirt beneath, Edward Cullen’s pale face dramatically printed across the front. “Vader’s competition,” he said, shrugged, and started vacuuming the floors of the Corolla left in our care.

He also talked about the strangest things: “Can you ever really prove anything? How?” or “I read about this composer who said his abstract music went ‘to the brink’—that beyond it lay complete chaos. What would that look like? Complete chaos?” or “You know how in Shakespeare Romeo says, ‘Call me but love, and I’ll be new baptized’? He’s talking about his name, but baptism’s bigger than that; it has to be. It’s about identity, and wonder, and favor, you know?” or “A group of moles is called a labor; a group of toads is called a knot. Who comes up with this stuff? It’s a bouquet of pheasants, a murder of crows, a storytelling of ravens, a lamentation of swans. A lamentation of swans, West!”

One morning I was late coming downstairs, and Shea got to Silas first. The two of them sat drinking orange juice on the front steps and discussing Shea’s question of whether fish have boobs. “I think,” Silas said, sounding like a scholar, “they do not, since they’re not mammals. But mermaids do, since they’re half-fish, half-mammal.”

“Mermaids aren’t real though,” Shea said, the tiniest bit of hope in his voice that Silas would prove him wrong.

“Who told you that?” said Silas sternly.

“You think they’re real?” Shea asked.

“I can’t be sure,” Silas said, “but I might have seen one when I used to live in Florida. Probably best not to jump to any conclusions either way.”

Behind me, Libby giggled. Silas glanced at us over his shoulder through the screen door and grinned. “Libby,” he said, “what do you say? Mermaids, real or not?”

“I don’t want to jump to conclusions either way,” my shy sister said, then turned bright red.

“Smart girl,” said Silas.

That afternoon, Silas and I sat in the backseat of a dusty Saturn, trading off the handheld vacuum as we talked—or rather, shouted—over its noise. I ran the hand-vac over the back of the driver’s seat, while Silas said, “I used to think I was the only one with a crush on Emily Dickinson until a couple years ago.”

“You have a crush on Emily Dickinson?”

“Durr.”

“Did you just ‘durr’ me? Is that like a ‘duh’?”

He nodded as I handed him the Dirt Devil. “But then I read this book that says it’s a rite of passage for any thinking American man. And then I read a poem called ‘Taking Off Emily Dickinson’s Clothes.’”

Just the title made me blush; I averted my eyes to focus on the vacuum’s trajectory.

Silas, unruffled, sighed unhappily.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, frowning, chancing a glance at him.

“I finally made it into the backseat with a girl,” Silas cracked, looking hard at the Dirt Devil. “This is not all I was hoping it would be.”

I slugged him in the arm, and his wry smile gave way to laughter.

The Giveaway:

One signed and annotated hardcover of Truest: a Rafflecopter giveaway
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YA Debut Authors Bash – an interview with Jackie Lea Summers!

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For today’s Debut Author’s Bash post, please enjoy this interview with debut author Jackie Lea Sommers! Her novel, Truest, came out in September and is truly lovely. It’s a great book to settle in with for a chilly weekend!

Make sure you read all the way to the end for a chance to win a prize from Jackie!

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 1. For those who haven’t read Truest yet, can you give a brief synopsis?

Absolutely! Truest tells the story of three teens: Westlin Beck, the pastor’s daughter who is having a frustrating and lonely summer; Silas Hart, the beautiful, fun, maddening boy who steps in to change that; and Laurel, his mysterious twin sister, who suffers from a rare disorder that makes her question the nature of reality.

2. Please share one quote from the book that would give potential readers a good feel for it:

 

Instead of just one, here are three that show why Silas Hart is so swoonworthy: 

“He wasn’t loud, drew no attention to himself, but I heard every note as if he were singing into my ear. His voice was a paradox—at once, angry and brave, sorrowing and confident—and yet, the song spread over him like a blanket and rushed forth like an anthem.”

“He pulled his hood off now and treated me to that grin of his—the one that made me want to take flight, the one that felt like a storm cell was raging in my chest, thunder and lightning and hurricane-strength winds and all.”

“And then he kissed me—soft, sweet, seeking—and there was only room in my thoughts for one boy, this boy: Silas Hart, whose kiss was exploding my heart from a bud into a blossom with such alacrity that I marveled I could be so full without bursting.”

3. What’s your favorite thing about your debut? Why? If could be a part of the book, or a part of the publishing process, or anything.

My favorite thing is watching my characters become real for other people. I love having readers talk to me like Silas and West and the rest of the Green Lake gang are truly their new friends. I’ve spent so many years with them; I’ve been delighted to introduce them to the rest of the world and find that people enjoy them just as much as I do. I love hearing from readers. It makes the whole emotional rollercoaster of writing and publishing worth it!

4. What I love most about Truest is your characters. They break down stereotypes, they’re flawed like the rest of us, and they jump off the page with their authenticity. Can you give us some insight into your character building process? How did West, Silas, Elliot, and Laurel end up feeling so real?

Thank you so much! Everything started with Silas. He’s part Augustus Waters, part a boy I once loved, and entirely my favorite character in Truest. While it’s true that I created him, there are some parts to him that he seemed to bring to the table himself, especially his flaws. You know, there was a little part of me that wanted him to be perfect, but he continually reminded me he was not. For Laurel, I drew on my own experiences with mental illness. In many ways, Laurel is me, untreated. So I didn’t have to look far to craft her, but that’s scary in itself! West was the biggest mystery to me– but being that she is the narrator of the story, and that she is unsure of herself, writing the book was a journey of discover for me and her both. As West discovers herself in the pages of the novel, I was learning right along with her. As far as my character-building process, it involves asking a lot of personal questions of my characters and learning more about their motivations and their histories than actually lands on the page. I found that I had to write a miniature “History of Green Lake” before I could move forward with some of the other characters’ storylines (like Elliot and Whit). Knowing plenty about them made them feel more full and robust to me, and I think– hope!– that translated onto the page!

5. Now, let’s get specific about West and her interactions with Silas. They were electric. I’ve already asked you to share more about Silas and the inspiration for him (check back on December 13th for this post with fun extras about Silas!), but can you go into this relationship a little more deeply without giving TOO much away?

Electric. I love that you used that word for them. Thank you. I love their dynamic too. They’re both pretty headstrong, but there was always this spark of intrigue and desire between the two of them, so when they finally fell in love, their love with headstrong too. I like that it takes them a while to figure things out. I like that they argue, even after they fall for each other. I like that they have a fun, playful relationship where they can do the most ridiculous, goofy things and feel completely comfortable with each other as they do them. When two people in love can play, that’s my favorite.

6. Finally, how does it feel to be a published author, and what has surprised you most since Truest’s publication?

I barely know where to start answering this question. I have felt every single emotion in this journey: from absolute elation to devastating loneliness to the crush of feeling like a fraud to the drive to put my head down and write book #2. I have always felt everything too deeply, which is good and hard and ultimately probably fuel for my writing life. And here’s where I get really real: I’ve been most surprised by the self-doubt. I guess once upon a time I had dreamed that being a published author would make me feel as if I’d arrived. A giant stamp of approval. But instead, in a lot of ways, I’m still self-doubting Jackie, wondering if anyone will like my art. Don’t get me wrong though: I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world.

Enter to win a signed copy of TRUEST: a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Chasing Spring by R.S. Grey – cover reveal

 
Title: Chasing Spring
Author: R.S. Grey
Release Date: Feb 1, 2016
Find on Goodreads
 
 
 
I thought I’d left Blackwater, Texas behind for good. I didn’t belong in the small town, but my dad wouldn’t listen. He dragged me back home in his beat-up truck and dropped a bomb along the way: Chase Matthews was moving in with us. He was the golden boy of my high school, my former best friend, and the last person I wanted sleeping across the hall. His presence was too great a reminder of the ghosts I was trying to forget.
 
I didn’t ask for a hero. I don’t want to be saved.
 
To me, Lilah Calloway meant late nights sneakin’ out, moonlit hair, and sparklers in July. She was my best friend until the day she left and I’d assumed Blackwater had seen the last of her. Then, like a tempest, she rolled back into town for the final half of senior year. The chopped hair and dark devil-may-care attitude warned most people away, but I knew if I fought hard enough, I could find the lost girl.
 
I didn’t want to be her hero. Some girls don’t need to be saved.
 
 
 
 
I am a lover of books, chocolate, reality TV, black labs, and cold weather. Seriously, if I had it my way, I would be curled up on the couch with all of those things… everyday.
 
I live in Texas where I spend my free time writing and reading. My favorite authors include Mindy Kaling & Jonathan Safran Foer. I'm a comedy geek and love all things "funny". Women like Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Mindy Kaling are definitely the biggest inspirations for my writing, though I think my work tends to skew a bit smuttier than theirs.
 
 
 

New Release Blog Tour: What You Left Behind by Jessica Verdi

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I got to read What You Left Behind earlier this summer, and I loved it. It was heartbreaking and emotional and lovely… The official blurb compares it to Nicholas Sparks, and I can see that (though it wasn’t quite that depressing – I’ve sworn off all future Sparks books, but I’d read Verdi again in a heartbeat). Anyway, read below for some info about the book, including an excerpt and a chance to win free stuff!

What You Left Behind
By Jessica Verdi

About the Book
Jessica Verdi, the author of My Life After Now and The Summer I Wasn’t Me, returns with a heartbreaking and poignant novel of grief and guilt that reads like Nicholas Sparks for teens.

It’s all Ryden’s fault. If he hadn’t gotten Meg pregnant, she would have never stopped her chemo treatments and would still be alive. Instead he’s failing fatherhood one dirty diaper at a time. And it’s not like he’s had time to grieve while struggling to care for their infant daughter, start his senior year, and earn the soccer scholarship he needs to go to college.

The one person who makes Ryden feel like his old self is Joni. She’s fun and energetic—and doesn’t know he has a baby. But the more time they spend together, the harder it becomes to keep his two worlds separate. Finding one of Meg’s journals only stirs up old emotions. Ryden’s convinced Meg left other notebooks for him to find, some message to help his new life make sense. But how is he going to have a future if he can’t let go of the past?

Find What You Left Behind HERE on Amazon!

About the Author
Jessica Verdi lives in Brooklyn, NY and received her MFA in Writing for Children from The New School. Her favorite pastimes include singing show tunes at the top of her lungs (much to her husband’s chagrin), watching cheesy TV, and scoring awesome non-leather shoes in a size 5. She’s still trying to figure out a way to put her uncanny ability to remember both song lyrics and the intricacies of vampire lore to good use. Follow Jess on Twitter @jessverdi.

Connect with Jessica Verdi
Website – http://jessicaverdi.com/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/JessVerdi
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/authorjessicaverdi
Goodreads – https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6442339.Jessica_Verdi

Praise for What You Left Behind

“A powerful indictment of reparative therapy–a sweet love story–and an unforgettable main character!” –Nancy Garden, author of Annie on My Mind
“Ryden’s story is a moving illustration of how sometimes you have to let go of the life you planned to embrace the life you’ve been given. A strong, character-driven story that teen readers will love.”
–Carrie Arcos, National Book Award Finalist for Out of Reach

Praise for The Summer I Wasn’t Me:
“Verdi has written a book that I wish I wrote.” –Sara Farizan, author of If You Could Be Mine

“His [Ryden’s] candid voice is endearing, and although his present-tense narration at first seems like every other teen novel on the shelf, the granulated iteration of baby details helps to illuminate the crushing burden he feels. Other characters are also well-drawn, and the plot moves along tidily to a satisfying conclusion. Verdi balances her plot elements deftly.” — Kirkus Reviews

“Verdi holds nothing back, shedding a realistic light on Ryden’s situation, his decisions, and their very real consequences. His voice is spot-on and doesn’t sugarcoat the harsh realities that he faces. It isn’t often that a book nails the male teen voice as well as Verdi does in this work. An excellent addition to YA collections.” — School Library Journal, STARRED REVIEW

“Teens will be hooked by the premise but will stick with Ryden and
his friends in this all-too-real portrait of a modern family.” — Booklist

Excerpt from What You Left Behind

Chapter 1

If there’s a more brain-piercing sound than a teething baby crying, I can’t tell you what it is.
I fall back on my bed, drop Meg’s journal, and rake my hands through my hair. It’s kinda funny—in an ironic way, not an LOL way—that I even notice how greasy my hair is with the wailing filling my room and ringing in my head. But I do. It’s gross. When was the last time I washed it? Three days ago? Four? I haven’t had time for anything more than a quick soap and rinse in days.
And here I used to purposely go a day or two without washing it. Girls have always liked my chin-length hair that falls in my face when I’m hunched over a test in school and that I have to pull back with a rubber band during soccer practice. But now it’s gone past sexy-straggly and straight into flat-out dirty.
God, I would kill for a long, hot, silent shower. I would lather, rinse, repeat like it was my fucking job.
Tears squeeze between Hope’s closed eyelids and her little chubby feet wiggle every which way. Her pink, gummy mouth is open wide, and you can just begin to see specks of white where her teeth are coming in.
Her crib is littered with evidence of my attempts to get her to please stop crying—a discarded teething ring, a mostly-full bottle, and this freakish, neon green, stuffed monster with huge eyes that my mom swore Hope liked when she first gave it to her, though I have no idea how she could tell that.
I pick up Hope and try massaging her gums with a damp washcloth like they say to do on all the baby websites. I bounce her on my hip and walk her around my room, trying to murmur soothing, shhhh-ing sounds. I even rub her head, as gently as my clunky, goal-blocking hands can manage. But nothing works. The screams work their way inside me, rattling my blood cells.
Yes, I changed her diaper. I even brought her to the doctor last week to make sure nothing’s actually wrong with her, some leftover sickness from Meg or something. There’s not.
Ever since Hope was born six months ago, I’ve been learning on the fly, getting used to the diapers and bottles and sleeping when she sleeps. I spend all of my free time reading mommy-ing websites, finding out which stores have the right kind of wipes, and shopping at the secondhand store for baby clothes, because they’re basically just as good as new and Hope grows out of everything so fast anyway.
Hope’s never fully warmed to me. She always cries more when I hold her than when my mom does—but it’s never been this bad. This teething stuff is no joke. According to the Internet, anyway. It’s not like Hope’s giving me a dissertation on what she’s feeling. Whenever I get anywhere near her, she screams her head off. Which means no matter how hard I try or how many books I read or websites I scour, I’m still doing something wrong. But what else is new?
Lately I’ve had this idea that I can’t seem to shake.
What if I’m missing some crucial dad-gene because I never had one of my own? What if I’m literally incapable of being a father to this baby because I have zero concept of what a father really is? Like beyond a definition or what you see of your friends’ families and on TV.
I have no idea what that relationship’s supposed to be like. I’ve never lived it.
And inevitably that thought leads to this one:
Maybe finding my dad, Michael, is the key to all of this making some sense. Maybe if I tracked him down, I’d finally be clued in to what I’ve been missing. The real stuff. How you’re supposed to talk to each other. What the, I don’t know, energy is like between a father and a son. Not that I’m into cosmic energy bullshit or anything.
If I could be the son in that interaction, even once, for a single conversation, that could jumpstart my being a father. Right? At least I’d have some frame of reference, some experience.
But that would require getting more info about Michael from my mom. And I’ve already thrown enough curveballs her way to last a lifetime.
The music blasting from Mom’s home office shuts off. Five o’clock exactly, like always nowadays. She loves her job making custom, handmade wedding invitations for rich people. Before Hope, Mom would work all hours of the day and night. But it turns out babies costa shitload of money, and despite how well Mom’s business is doing, it’s not enough. So the new arrangement is that during the day Mom gets to turn her music on and her grandma duties off while I take care of Hope. Then Mom takes over when I leave for work at 5:30.
In a few days that schedule’s going to change, and I don’t know what the hell we’re going to do. That’s another topic I haven’t brought up with Mom. She keeps saying we need to talk about our plan for “when school starts up again,” like she’s forgotten that soccer practice starts sooner than that. Like it doesn’t matter anymore or something.
But I can’t not play. Soccer is the one thing I kick ass at. It’s the whole reason I’m going back to school this fall instead of sticking with homeschooling, which I did for the last few months of last year after Hope was born. Fall is soccer season. I need to go to school in order to play on the team. And I need to play on the team because I’m going to UCLA on an athletic scholarship next year. It’s pretty much a done deal. I’ve even spoken to their head coach a few times this summer. He called me on July first, the first day he was allowed to contact me according to NCAA rules. He’s seen my game film, tracked my stats, and is sending a recruiter to watch one of my games in person. He wants me on his team. This is what I’ve been working toward my whole life. So Mom’s delusional if she thinks I’m giving it up.
I wipe the tears from Hope’s face and the drool from around her mouth. Her soft, unruly, dark hair tickles my hand as I set her down in her crib. She’s still crying. She grasps onto my finger, holding on extra tight, like she’s saying, “Do something, man. This shit is painful!”
“I’m trying,” I mumble.
I meet Mom in her office, where she’s sitting on the floor, attempting to organize her materials. Stacks of paper and calligraphy pens are scattered among plastic bags filled with real leaves from the trees in our yard. Three hot glue guns are plugged into the wall, and photos of the Happy Couple glide across Mom’s laptop screen.
“Hippie wedding in California?” I guess, nodding at the leaves. The people who hire Mom to make one-of-a-kind invitations always want a design that relates who they are. Mom and I started this game years ago. She tells me what materials she’s using, and I try to guess what kind of people the Happy Couple are. I’m usually pretty good.
Mom shakes her head. “Hikers in Boulder.”
Or I was pretty good. Now everything is so turned around that I can barely think.
“That was my next guess,” I say.
Mom smiles. She’s been so great about everything. She’s not even pissed about me making her a thirty-five-year-old grandmother. She says that she, better than anyone, gets how these things happen. But this is not your typical “oops, got pregnant in high school, what do we do now?” scenario, like what happened to her. This is the much more rare “oops, I killed the love of my life by getting her pregnant in high school, and ruined my life and the lives of all her family and friends in the process” situation.
And deep down, I know Mom knows that. Mom’s green eyes used to sparkle. They don’t anymore. It’s not because of the baby—she loves that kid to an almost ridiculous level. It’s because of me. She’s sad for me. Even though the name “Meg” is strictly off-limits in our house, I can almost see the M and E and G floating around in my mom’s eyes like alphabet soup, like she’s been bottling up everything she’s wanted to say for the past six months and it is about to overflow. I need to get out of here.
“So, I’m out,” I say quickly, clipping my Whole Foods nametag to my hoodie. “Be home at ten-fifteen.”
Mom sighs. “Okay, Ry. Have fun. Love you.”
“Love you too,” I call back as I head to the front door.
She always says that when I leave to go somewhere. Have fun. She’s been saying it for years. Doesn’t matter if I’m going to school or work or soccer practice or a freaking pediatrician’s appointment with Hope. Have fun. Like having fun is the most important thing you can do. Like you can possibly have fun when you’re such a fucking mess.
*
I’m restocking the organic taco shells in the Mexican and Asian Foods aisle, trying to block out the Celine Dion song that’s playing over the PA system, when I notice a kid, no older than six or seven, climbing the shelves at the opposite end of the aisle. His feet are two levels off the ground, and he’s holding onto a shelf above him, trying to raise himself up another level.
“Hey,” I call down the aisle. “Don’t do that.”
“It’s okay. I do it all the time,” he says, successfully pulling himself up another foot. He lets go with one hand and stretches toward something on the top shelf.
“Wait.” I start to move toward him. “I’ll get whatever you need. Just get down.”
But there’s a determined set to his jaw and he keeps reaching higher, the tips of his fingers brushing a bag of tortilla chips. I keep walking toward him, but I slow down a little. He really wants to do this on his own, you can tell. I’m a few feet away, and he’s almost got a grab on the bag, when his one-handed grip on the shelf slips and his Crocs lose their foothold. Suddenly he’s falling backward, nothing but air between the back of his head and the hard tile floor. I move faster than I would have thought possible, given how tired I am. I shoot my arms under his armpits and catch the boy just before he hits the ground.
The kid rights himself, plants his feet safely on the floor, and looks at me. My heart is beating way too fast, but I tell it to chill the fuck out. The kid is fine. Crisis averted.
“Thanks,” he mumbles.
“No problem.”
He ducks his head and starts to walk away.
“Hey,” I call out.
He stops.
I grab a bag of chips off the top shelf—funny how easy it is for me to reach; sometimes I still feel like a little kid who the world is too big for—and hand it to him.
He takes it, no thank you this time, and disappears around the corner.
I’m dragging my feet back to the taco shells, back to the monotony, when there’s a voice behind me.
“Why, Ryden Brooks, as I live and breathe.”
My spine stiffens. I haven’t heard that voice since before I left school in February. I turn and find myself face to face with Shoshanna Harvey. Her soft, Southern Belle accent comes complete with a delicate hand to the chest and a batting of long, thick lashes. I fell for that whole act once. Before I found out about a little thing called real life.
Apparently today is weird-shit-happening at Whole Foods day. I saw her in the store once about a month ago, but ducked down a different aisle before she saw me. This time, I’m not so lucky. “You do know we live in New Hampshire, not Mississippi, right?”
Shoshanna just purses her lips and studies me. “How are things, Ryden?”
“Things are great, Shoshanna. Really, just super.”
“Really?” Her eyes are bright. Clearly, she’s never heard of sarcasm. “That’s so great to hear. We’ve been worried about you, you know.”
“We? Who’s we?” You never know with Shoshanna—she could be talking about her family or she could be talking about the whole damn school.
Just then another familiar voice carries down the aisle. “Hey, Sho, how do you know when a cantaloupe is ripe?” It’s Dave. His hands are placed dramatically on his hips and he’s got three melons under his shirt—two representing boobs and one that I’m pretty sure is supposed to be a pregnant woman’s belly. A flash of rage burns through me but I smother it deep inside me where all my unwelcome emotions reside. It’s getting pretty crowded in there.
“Dave,” Shoshanna hisses, her eyes growing as-wide-as-possible in that thing people do when they’re trying to get someone to take a hint without saying the actual words.
He follows Shoshanna’s nod toward me and drops the doofy grin. “Oh. Hey, Ryden.” He relaxes his stance and the cantaloupes fall to the floor.
I look back and forth between Shoshanna and Dave, and it all clicks. They’re the “we.” My ex-girlfriend and my former best friend are together. That kind of thing used to require at least a “Hey, man. Cool with you if I ask out Shoshanna?” text, but I guess we left the bro code behind right around the time my girlfriend up and died and I became a seventeen-year-old single father. Yeah, Dave and I don’t exactly have much in common anymore.
“You work here?” Dave asks.
“Nah, I just like helping restock supermarket shelves in my free time.”
“Oh. I thought…” Dave looks at my Whole Foods nametag, confused.
“He was kidding, Dave,” Shoshanna whispers.
Ah, look at that. Sarcasm isn’t completely lost on her after all.
“Oh. Right. We’re, uh, just getting some food for the senior picnic tomorrow down at the lake. You coming?”
I stare in Dave’s general direction, unthinking, unseeing. I forgot all about the picnic, even though it’s been a Downey High School tradition for pretty much ever.
Dave keeps talking. “Coach said you’re coming back to school in September. You are, right? We really need you on the te—”
“Hey, Ryden, can you help me with a cleanup in dairy?” a female voice asks, cutting him off. “Some asshole kids decided to play hacky sack with a carton of eggs.”
I blink a few times, push the picnic out of my mind, and look down to find what used to be a box of blue corn taco shells crumpled in my hands. Oops.
The source of the voice is a girl with short, medium brown hair that is juuust long enough to fall in her eyes, skin just a shade or two lighter than her hair, earrings stuck in weird places in her ears, and tie-dyed overalls over a black tank top. She looks like she works in a Whole Foods. Definitely a lesbian.
“Uh, yeah. Sure,” I say. I turn back to Shoshanna and Dave, glad to have an excuse to bail on this happy little reunion. “Gotta go.”
“Bye, Ryden!” Shoshanna’s voice travels down the aisle after me.
“Yeah, see ya tomorrow, Ry.”
I shake my head to myself as I follow tie-dye girl to dairy. Good thing that wasn’t awkward or anything.
Once we’re out of sight of the Mexican and Asian aisle, tie-dye girl stops walking and spins on her heel. “Right, so…” she says as I screech to a halt behind her. “There’s no cleanup in dairy.”
“Huh?” That’s all I got. I’m so tired.
“Sorry, it just looked like you were having a moment there. Thought you might need a little help with your getaway.”
I lean back against a display of recycled paper towels. They’re soft. I could totally curl up right here on the floor and use one of the rolls as a pillow.
“Thanks,” I say. “How did you know my name?”
She points to my nametag.
“Right” I say. “Where’s yours? Or do you not even work here?”
She pulls the top of her overalls to the side to reveal a nametag pinned to her tank top. Joni. “I’m new. Started the day before yesterday and already blew my first week’s paycheck on ungodly amounts of pomegranate-flavored soda. That stuff is like crack.”
I smile for the first time in centuries. “Nice to meet you, Joni,” I say.
“I saw you catch that kid,” she says.
“Oh.”
“That was cool.”
I shrug. “I guess.” There’s an awkward pause, like she’s waiting for me to say something else. “Well, see ya,” I mumble and book it out of there as fast as I can.
“Nice to meet you too, Ryden,” Joni calls after me.

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Emmy & Oliver by Robin Benway

emmy and oliver

I laughed, I cried, I swooned (a lot), and I totally ignored my students the morning after I started reading Emmy & Oliver because I couldn’t wait to finish reading.

The storyline was intriguing, but I think what I loved most about Emmy & Oliver was the incredible quality of the characters. Emmy and Oliver were great, in fact I’d go so far as to say that I think Emmy’s one of the best protagonists I’ve ever read, and their cast of supporting characters was awesome.

Emmy & Oliver would make a great choice for any summer reading situation, whether it be a day at the beach or a day spent curled up in bed. Go check it out Emmy & Oliver. And, on a side note, Robin Fenway’s other titles are different in style and genre but are also fun reads, if you find that you like this title and want more from the same author!

The Six by Mark Alpert – new book trailer release!

Check out this trailer, then scroll down for an excerpt and a chance to win a copy of The Six!

 

the six mark alpertThe Six

By Mark Alpert

Sourcebooks Fire

July 7, 2015

Advance Praise for Mark Alpert

“Adam is an unusual hero—and he faces a frightening question: Computers can’t kill—CAN they? I’m still shaken by the answer. Will the near-future really be this terrifying?” —R.L. Stine, bestselling author of the Goosebumps and Fear Street series

“An exciting action story chock-full of characters you’ll love. The Six is full of big ideas, big questions, real science, and things that will make you think and wonder and lie awake late at night.” —Michael Grant, New York Times bestselling author of the Gone series 

“The Six are introduced as terminally-ill teens, but there’s plenty of high-speed action in which they engage. Their physical disabilities and limitations through disease are forgotten as the teens’ hearts, minds, and personalities shine through…questions of principle, power, and possibility keep this look at our modern, hardwired existence fresh and fascinating.” STARRED Booklist

“Alpert’s exploration of neuromorphic electronics raises interesting questions about ethics, technology, and human nature…a haunting ending scene will leave readers pondering the line between progress and loss. A thought-provoking clash between humanity and machinery.”- Kirkus Reviews

“A well-researched, hardcore science-fiction joyride, great for fans of first-person shooter video games like Halo and Destiny. Highly recommended” –School Library Journal

“Do not just read The Six; make your friends read it too.” –VOYA Magazine

Goodreads Link:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23354348-the-six?from_search=true&search_version=service_impr

Avatar meets The Terminator in this thrilling cyber-tech adventure…

Book Info:

Adam’s muscular dystrophy has taken his motility, his friends, and in a few short years, it will take his life. He takes solace in playing video games he’s programmed to reflect the life that he used to have. Virtual reality is the one realm where he can be the hero, and it’s where he chooses to spend his time, until an entity called Sigma tries to kill him.

A dangerously advanced artificial intelligence program created by Adam’s computer-genius father, Sigma has escaped its cyber prison and is threatening global destruction and domination. But Adam’s father has a plan. He will stop Sigma by using the technology he developed to digitally preserve the mind of his dying son.

Adam’s consciousness is uploaded into the body of a weaponized robot, along with a group of five other gifted teens who are terminally ill. Together, they must learn how to manipulate their new mechanical forms and prepare for combat before Sigma destroys humanity. Adam can finally play the hero for real, but will his new body be worth the sacrifice of his human existence?

This innovative and thought-provoking young adult debut, from the critically acclaimed author of adult thrillers Final Theory and The Omega Theory, questions what it means to be human and whether we are destined to be defined by our physical bodies or our intellect.

Amazon | Apple| B&N | BAM | !ndigo |  IndieBound | Kindle |  Nook

 

Mark Alpert:

Mark Alpert is a former editor at Scientific American, and the author of several adult thrillers. He’s been praised by Douglas Preston as the “heir to Michael Crichton.” Visit Mark online at markalpert.com.

Website | Twitter | Facebook

Excerpt from The Six:

Shannon rears back in her seat as if she’s been slapped. “And where are you going to store the copies of our brains?” Her voice is furious. “In a supercomputer? A big electronic prison?”

Dad doesn’t take offense. He answers her calmly. “The scanning process converts human intelligence to a digital form, allowing it to run on any neuromorphic computer that has enough memory and processing power. But in the initial stage right after the transfer, we believe it’s important to connect the intelligence to a machine that can move around and sense the outside world. A human intelligence is accustomed to controlling a body, so if we want to preserve its sanity, we’d better give it something to control. Here, let me show you.”

He puts the vial of nanoprobes back in his pocket and pulls out something else, a small remote–control device. He points it at the doorway beside the stage, and a moment later I hear a loud clanking. The noise startles the soldiers standing by the doorway. They step backward, flattening themselves against the wall. Then a seven–foot–tall robot emerges from the doorway and brushes past them.

The robot strides across the stage. It has two arms and two legs, but otherwise it isn’t very humanlike. It has no head or neck. Its torso is shaped like a giant bullet, with the rounded end on top. Its legs angle downward from the base of its torso and rest on oval steel–plate footpads that clang against the floor.

The machine marches briskly past the podium and stops in front of my dad, who presses a button on his remote control. This command extends the robot’s arms, which telescope to a full length of six feet. They look like multi–jointed tentacles. The machine’s hands, though, resemble human hands, with dexterous mechanical fingers and thumbs.

Dad presses another button, and the robot’s rounded top starts to turn like a turret. “The cameras and acoustic sensors are up here,” Dad says, pointing at the top end. “But the neuromorphic electronics are deep inside the torso, encased in armor plating. These robots were originally designed for the war in Afghanistan, so they’re pretty sturdy.” He raps his knuckles against the torso. “All in all, it’s an excellent platform for a newly transferred intelligence, but really it’s just the beginning. The whole point of the Pioneer Project is to bridge the gap between man and machine, and that means the human intelligences must explore their new environment. The Pioneers will have to learn how to use their new capabilities, and that includes transferring their intelligences from one machine to another.”

His voice grows louder again, full of enthusiasm. “Once the Pioneers have mastered these tasks, our hope is that they’ll be able to establish a connection with Sigma. If all goes well, they’ll start communicating with the AI before it launches any of the Russian missiles. And then the toughest challenge will begin. At the same time that the humans are learning how to be machines, they’ll have to teach Sigma how to be human.”

 

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Serafina and the Black Cloak by Robert Beatty

serafina and the black cloak

 

With all the hype leading up to the release of Serafina and the Black Cloak, it’s pretty clear that Disney’s looking to discover and be a part of the next big book franchise. I think they may just have found it.

Well-written and intriguing, Serafina and the Black Cloak feels like something wonderfully familiar and new all at once. In the vein of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, Beatty has written the beginning of a great hero journey series for middle schoolers, but with one major difference… The hero is a girl. And, not just any girl, but a truly unique one for reasons that I won’t tell because it’ll spoil parts of the book for you. Throughout the book, Serafina goes through the process of questioning who she is and what her purpose is, and she comes out on the other side of it as an admirable and strong young woman. Set during the time of the Vanderbilt family and the Biltmore House in the mountains of North Carolina, historical and factual details are woven into the narrative seamlessly, which creates a fascinating delve into historical fiction for middle grades readers. The supporting cast of characters are remarkable, too; they include the Vanderbilt family, a wide variety of people who have come to stay as guests in their home, and the large staff that kept a place like the Biltmore House running.

There’s a battle between good and evil here, and good wins out just as we’d expect in an MG title, but it’s done in a fresh way and comes across as something different. The book never really fully delves into witchcraft (portrayed as evil) or paranormal stuff, but there are touches of it that make the story mysterious and a little spooky. When the evil force driving the antagonist is finally defeated, it’s with something clearly good, which makes me comfortable with recommending this for school reading for grades 4 and up.

Serafina and the Black Cloak comes out on July 14th, and it should be everywhere when it comes out… But, click here to see it on Amazon (where it’s already listed as a #1 New Release) if you’d like to preorder it, or check with your favorite local bookseller to order it.

Hello, I Love You by Katie M. Stout

hello i love you

 

I loved this. And, since there’s so much going on in it that I can’t possibly explain any better than the official blurb does, read this:

Grace Wilde is running—from the multi-million dollar mansion her record producer father bought, the famous older brother who’s topped the country music charts five years in a row, and the mother who blames her for her brother’s breakdown. Grace escapes to the farthest place from home she can think of, a boarding school in Korea, hoping for a fresh start.

She wants nothing to do with music, but when her roommate Sophie’s twin brother Jason turns out to be the newest Korean pop music superstar, Grace is thrust back into the world of fame. She can’t stand Jason, whose celebrity status is only outmatched by his oversized ego, but they form a tenuous alliance for the sake of her friendship with Sophie. As the months go by and Grace adjusts to her new life in Korea, even she can’t deny the sparks flying between her and the KPOP idol.

Soon, Grace realizes that her feelings for Jason threaten her promise to herself that she’ll leave behind the music industry that destroyed her family. But can Grace ignore her attraction to Jason and her undeniable pull of the music she was born to write? Sweet, fun, and romantic, this young adult novel explores what it means to experience first love and discover who you really are in the process.

So, I would imagine that I’m not the only one who didn’t know anything about K-Pop before reading this, but after some googling (oh my goodness, fandom insanity) I got a pretty good feel for the K-Pop culture. It made for a fun setting for Hello, I Love You because it’s not just set in Korea but also sort of within this subculture that I found fascinating. As a character, Grace is flawed and very human, and as a result of recent tragedies doesn’t start out this book as a very likable person. By the end, though, Grace’s transformation is realistic and hopeful. I loved Jason and Grace together and rooted for them the whole way through.

In a word, I thought is was wonderful. Check it out here on Amazon or get it from your favorite book store!

Kissing Ted Callahan (and other guys) by Amy Spalding

kissing ted callahan

 

Kissing Ted Callahan is fun, quirky, sweet, and funny all at the same time. With a glowing compliment from on of my favorite YA authors, Stephanie Perkins, on the cover and a comparison to Easy A, I knew I had to read it. I’m glad I did, too!

In it, two L.A. teens, Riley and Reid, challenge each other to act on their crushes after finding their other two bandmates in a compromising position. They chronicle their adventures in a notebook that they trade back and forth, and what results is a story full of music and fun and the hope of romance, and it gets bonus points for making me laugh. I like Riley’s parts better, but it was all good stuff.

This book is out now, so check it out! You can find it here on Amazon or at your favorite bookseller.